My attitude is worse than NWA's was
I'll battle you over stupid shit and diss people
Who ain't have shit to do with it, like Cool J does
You see me standin outside of your buildin; screamin,
"Puffy is good, but Slim Shady is for the children!"
I look at my life in a new light -- fuck it
Give me two mics; I write songs for me -- fuck what you like
You're probably hear me rap half-hearted; cause I don't like rap anyway
I'm just tryin to get my porno career started
Every place and event.. Been There, Done That
Shit, Dre stuck me in a suitcase when he went
Want a deal? Study these 5 chapters
Lesson One: Throw demos as hard as you can at signed rappers
Lesson Two: Face em and diss em
Don't give em a demo; kidnap em
And make em come to your basement and listen
Lesson Three: Get a job at a label; switch demos with Canibus
And put yours on the owner's table
Lesson Four: 'Know you heard this before'
"Hey let me get your number; I'll call you tomorrow, for sure!"
Don't act like a fan -- you wanna get signed?
Get the whitest A&R you can find
Pull him aside and rap as wack as you can
Lesson Five: Get a hook-up at Jive
Dress up like I.C.P. and have them come see you perform live
And that's the key, but when you see me on the street; I ain't
Givin you shit bitch - don't even bother askin me
Toilet water splashes me right in the ass when I'm spittin
Cause I'm always shittin when I'm rappin like Master P
Got a blowjob from Paula Jones, and stuffed it so far in her mouth
My balls broke both of her collarbones
Told Mya this shit was all about Mea
Gave Alyssa Milano syphillis, mono and gonorrhea
And all three of my main girls said SEE-YA
Cause Brandy and Monica walked in and caught me fuckin Aaliyah
I splish splash while I'm takin a bath
Grab a handful of pills, break em in half, take em and laugh
White trash -- fuckin your wife in the ass
While you're out siphoning gas for your lawnmower to cut the grass
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