[Lars]

Just trying to preserve this for my homie, don't think it exists online anymore and he doesnt have it archived. 1999ish:

Sordswinga:
I just seen a teen commit a misdemeanor and key a 1.8 liter Kia Sephia
parked in front of a meter while in the two seater sat two people, Rita
the sleaker of the pair of cheaters and Peter was the one spilling is
Fajita wrapped in a pita bread tortilla all over his wifebeater. Both
were sneaky peepers, Peter would illegally peep at medieval people
covered in fecal through peepholes squeezing his sleaker weiner and Rita
would peep at Peter through a keyhole eagerly fingerfucking her peehole
equally. I call them cheaters cause they had honeymoon rendezvous in
laundry rooms. Peter had married Lisa Which was Rita's cousin and Rita
used to be Gary Keifer's bitch but needs a husband. When Gary was asked
to do shit he'd be the last to move it, she said the "bastards useless
I'll kick his ass to prove it" then her and Peter boarded a vast of
cruise ships and headed to Massachusetts gambling boat casinos playing
beano try to cash in the blue chips spent five G's now there cash is two
cents formerly known as Larry Leifer AKA Gary Keifer keeps his mask
elusive and don't let that skank know your where abouts, Now hear him
out in his own words version, Im just speaking from the perspective of
third person.

Nefarious:

Yes, Rita needed the Kia Sephia to be keyed-up cuz the evil witch was a
cheatin' bitch with a seemingly streaming needle fix. Chain-smoked while
her veins choked, now the dame's broke cuz' of gameboats. I know she'll
be hunting tracks attempting to come running back for more moneybags for
her honeyfag with visions of video-style poker and hideous wild jokers,
voyeurism, and her boy's thick jism. But the bloodhound is done now, her
nose can't sniff my trail cuz' I'm frozen stiff in Vail ski resorts cuz
the police reports are stacked against me, if you have to be asking me,
I guarantee it's "mack envy," precisely. Because I defied three laws,
now I hide between sleetfalls, cuz' all kinds of yeehaws wanna see me
behind steel walls. Always had a crush on Mary Steenburgen, but I really
had it for non-hairy teen virgins. Had an itch for, nah, more like a
scratch for the stacked whores in platforms on the dancefloors. One day
a raving dancing snakelet with an amazing ankle bracelet emblazoned her
bodacious navel, not even a breath of space between her flesh and my
face. Even though I didn't know her, she wanted me to go lower, so I
boned her, then it was over. Not even an hour had passed before the task
force had my back door surrounded with gas and reports. Damn crack
whore! I packed and tore through the claps of war. Good thing I'm fast,
for if they had caught me, I'd be by my lonely, playing Yahtzee in a
solitary holding cell listening to moaning yells from homo belles.
Modern-day Jerry Lee Lewis swooping the kooches with no pubics, elusive
to the clueless brood of snooping buffoons!
Hiphop stuck in a deep state of desperation/ so many lackluster MC's I gotta
listen to the voices in my head for inspiration