Quote:
Originally Posted by Lexicon
first thing u wanna do is switch up ur signature. the shit's distracting as hell lol
on to the verse...
I liked this somewhat. Flow was carried mostly through multies and assonance. Lots of great lines scattered about and i like the Allegory of the Cave allusion. Although i'm a little lost on the actual content of the piece. The title's addiction and at first i thought the addiction was sex as it opened up with some kind of "player" swag. then it broke down into a more psychological dilemma. At this point, my thought was this was a lonely character who's aching for company and may be creating said company in his own mind. Either that or he's just a player who's addicted to sex. And did u mean "invested time" or was "infested" the intended usage? Despite issue with clarity, this was a pretty good read, i thought. word.
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I will keep the signature. It speaks to me.
And as for the piece, the intention was to set up the idea of being interested in relationships for the memories I could later reflect upon, rather than the affair be a focus on the other person. The person would be the equivalent of a pipe, and i would be using all kinds of pipes to enjoy the substance. As for infested, yes i intended that. It assisted the feeling towards the person I was addressing as disposable, and that in the end, they were getting the shitty end of the stick in the relationship, being that I'm just wasting her time.
I do have trouble with clarity in my verses, and in my regular writing i.e. essays and what not. It will be something that i will have to work on i guess. Maybe take a more simple descriptive route. Thanks for the feed fam.