A vivacious vixen – with more color than a prism,
Hazel eyes positioned on silky skin un-christened,
A smile that gleams, pearly whites encompassed in serene,
A face inside of dreams, no body cuz her mind is what we fiend,
Sara's natural elegance is second to her scholastic competence,
Both can choose any college due to academic dominance,
A match made in heaven, a couple so perfect,
From the outside... As I've merely scratched the surface.
this part was money, loved the cadence and descriptiveness, flow was butter as well.
Strip to the core of the subject in essence
exhibit it purely and cut the excesses.
So nothing is left but the principle premise
to sum up the rest and deliver your message.
See, in the possessive hands of an artist
this gift of expression comes natural regardless.
this was a nice section here, thought it the best out of the piece, structure and mechanically this piece was sound. my only problem is that the whole time you were kinda saying the whole thing, basically it was 20 some lines about delivering a message. while the way you presented it was dope, the message imo was uncreative. no hate though
mvgt adonis for a better and more creative piece imo, though both came with a "concrete" verse
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