vividly: big words make an unnatural flow
fave line:
Quote:
Let all fall. I possess a summer's stubborn tenacity.
A successful abortion born, ungratefully grasping this apathy.
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certain: great storyline, good flow, awesome reconnection with the topic.
took me until
Quote:
The boy had a smile. The man'd demand he force it.
Turn it down. Exhale.
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to realize what had happened, you controlled the environment in the piece really well.
Quote:
The steps spiraled to haven.
This kitchen inspired each craving, now just a retired old apron.
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seemed out of place to me, didn't really drive the piece towards the ending, rather seemed to pull back into the house, yet "turn it down" already started the transition out of the house and moved the story forward.
fave lines:
Quote:
It's time to go.
This attic provided home, sanctuary by liner notes.
Crawl space, really. One window, sealed by primer coats,
that couldn't reveal the time I'd consigned to wine-drinking and hiding, cold.
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vote: certain