breathless - i took your whole piece as an observation one type of character. so not to say i could pick out a "hero" from your piece, as much as you delved into a collectively dark psyche. a state of denial, brought on by a lifetime of wrong decisions. an outlook shadowed by an overly critical father. you were poetic throughout, but i had diffculties trying to really patch it together and take from your verse an entire meaning that corresponded with the picture.
A drunk flow about some old portrait of trees... "no."
innovator - I tried my best to pick out a solid theme from your piece, and i just couldn't. but i do feel you used some excellent imagery. like here..
humming at my eardrums with an angels harp
despair feathered from the skies in water shards
Pressed against my blood the floor colder than ice
spacious with echoes, no one’s been here in nights
the sun in hibernation all the time, while the moon
plays to an empty crowds eye, setting a empty mood
it feels great. sounds good. but when i search for meaning from it, i just couldnt find anything to chew on. you can taste the bees? hm. sounds painful. but seriously... this is solid.
A native son familiar to the hills and the river
Ill be the bravest one as the land breaks in fevers
I have an honest intent to repent the rains trying descend
the city never looked so innocent, the trees never smelled better
the rain never wetter, the water full of flavor.
the flowers feel vibrant and vivid in the dark.
I can see the smell…I can taste the bees.
that related to the pic quite well. unfortunately, i truly feel like your entire piece wasn't based on the picture at hand. and i really cant relate it all back to anything of substance. overall, you created an interesting experience for your audience. i just can't really.. pull anything from it.
/v breathless - i simply felt he created a solid area from which his ideas stemmed from. overall, the verses were very close in quality. i just took more from breathless' verse on this occasion.
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