Netcees - View Single Post - Week 3 - NYCSPITZ (1-1) vs. Zenland (1-1) - NYCSPITZ WINS 5-4

Frank · 10-14-2013, 02:00 AM

^what he said

j/k

zenland is the zaniest to the fullest without really breaching his potential. this was a scary preview of things to come. zenland has been on this trip of sort with a lot of inner demons surfacing in his writing. ''drugs really gotta hold of me" eminem with the autotune affect comes to mind. the flow of this was very cutthroat and edgy like a speedy junky with a hallucinating mindstate -- 2 ill adverse affects simultaneously occurring. a lot of well timed transitions from bar to bar; clever. you did it well with words aftershave and then another one. blitzkrieg of rhyming abilities though, i feel if you buckled down you would garner deeper connections within your writing. as of now you are an adrenaline junky, epitome of a quick slinging freewriter. didn't like the liquid matter out of place horrocore line could've been replaced with a less distracting way of killing the bitch. i mean liquid matter. i wasn't feeling that rocket in my pocket shit either man. you can't stop it? WTF you talking about nigga?! FIGHT OR FLIGHT. you need to write a slower paced piece next week to break this cycle of chatter boxness. bunker down and unfold a 48 line full fledged story. tame that speed and concentrate on refining that velocity.

nyc.
My nigga J.T with the most advance vocabulary to ever spit on webster avenue, in the bronx. true wordsmith - grandeur of it all is, less is more. saying a lot with a little is something you accomplish. heavy sentences that tweak the regions of the brain responsible for my enjoyment. I think honestly NYC might be overthinking these league entrys because I've seen what dude was capable of with 20 minutes in those write nights, all inspiring to say the least. nyc almost came more beautiful than the photo itself.

all in all.
the contrast of these 2 cats was crazy. i think the madness of zenland is captured by the losing his mind hands on temple depiction, where as NYCSPITZ maybe very well have outwrote the photograph like a post card.

battle. ...

tough choice....

MVGT Zenland

10-14-2013, 02:00 AM	#14
Frank Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 3,228 Champed - NWL Season 2 - Art of Writing League (5x) - Lime Green Poetry Association - AOWL Season 6 - AOWL Season 10 Rep Power: 3853347	^what he said j/k *zenland* is the zaniest to the fullest without really breaching his potential. this was a scary preview of things to come. zenland has been on this trip of sort with a lot of inner demons surfacing in his writing. ''drugs really gotta hold of me" eminem with the autotune affect comes to mind. the flow of this was very cutthroat and edgy like a speedy junky with a hallucinating mindstate -- 2 ill adverse affects simultaneously occurring. a lot of well timed transitions from bar to bar; clever. you did it well with words aftershave and then another one. blitzkrieg of rhyming abilities though, i feel if you buckled down you would garner deeper connections within your writing. as of now you are an adrenaline junky, epitome of a quick slinging freewriter. didn't like the liquid matter out of place horrocore line could've been replaced with a less distracting way of killing the bitch. i mean liquid matter. i wasn't feeling that rocket in my pocket shit either man. you can't stop it? WTF you talking about nigga?! FIGHT OR FLIGHT. you need to write a slower paced piece next week to break this cycle of chatter boxness. bunker down and unfold a 48 line full fledged story. tame that speed and concentrate on refining that velocity. *nyc. My nigga J.T with the most advance vocabulary to ever spit on webster avenue, in the bronx. true wordsmith - grandeur of it all is, less is more. saying a lot with a little is something you accomplish. heavy sentences that tweak the regions of the brain responsible for my enjoyment. I think honestly NYC might be overthinking these league entrys because I've seen what dude was capable of with 20 minutes in those write nights, all inspiring to say the least. nyc almost came more beautiful than the photo itself. all in all. the contrast of these 2 cats was crazy. i think the madness of zenland is captured by the losing his mind hands on temple depiction, where as NYCSPITZ maybe very well have outwrote the photograph like a post card. battle. ... tough choice.... MVGT* Zenland __________________ *VETWORK* Last edited by Frank; 10-14-2013 at 02:04 AM.