[Certain]

breathless: The way you wrote this seemed from the outset to explore your displeasure with this topic. That's not a good attitude, though it's a relatable one in these leagues. Sometimes, the topics suck. Do what you can. Anyway, I like your writer's voice. You set up lines well and have a good sense of rhythm. But your content lacks, from both a macro and micro perspective. This verse didn't go anywhere, to the point where you admitted it didn't really go anywhere. But on top of that, there really wasn't any standout section. Mostly you reveled in clichés. If you're going to write about a topic as common as this, you really need to push for quotables, original concepts and wordplay to keep it feeling fresh. Or spice up the flow a bit with deeper rhymes. This verse needed something, some sort of seasoning.

Innovator: I liked the approach, which fit the topic well. The writing was more uneven. Your thoughts don't connect as well as they should, and it feels like I'm coming to a halt at a lot of your end rhymes. Part of that is the simplicity of your rhyme scheme. Weaving in more rhymes helps improve the fluidity of everything, making those end rhymes feel less like an obligation. But you also seem to try to fit entire thoughts into every line every time. You shift sentence subjects a lot. It feels like you're trying to cram a ton into every line, new images and new thoughts and new everything, instead of taking time to develop. There are occasionally flashes of brilliance in most of your verses, more here than the past two weeks for sure, but too often you come across as clunky. I'd like to see you push for more coherence and smoothness, perhaps using a direct storytelling verse (a la Slick Rick) as a test attempt, be it for next week or an open mic verse or something else. Still, I thought you won here because you approached the topic better and had more interesting content.

Vote: Innovator