Thread: Mr. Clean
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Old 10-12-2013, 05:28 PM   #5
Certain
Mad fucking dangerous.
 
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 12,066
Battle Record: 40-19


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This part was dope:

Quote:
I act all indecent when proposed with wackness
And I Demied Moore pieces than a showbiz actress
Cause I showed you phatness in every single click I post
My flow is madness and everything I spit is dope
Anything original is hard to come across
So when I bring this little old bar you somersault
Like gymnastics class. You flipped, that was that
I’m sick nasty, Pat the Big Daddy, yeah
I kick half your ass now and half again later
I’m an unreasonable man like Ralph is, the Nader
So how could you haters even attempt to persecute
When I sanctioned new waivers to ascend a verse or two?
My pen is merciful to those who ain’t suck
Tremendous vertical, my flow is way up
I motivate chumps to flow past they edges
I’m Goin A-Plus when most rappers F this
Those have detention cause they lack the principles
And don’t have the senses cause they act as criminals
This part wasn't:

Quote:
Ya rap vault e’d up, ya runnin on empty
In fact ya’ll need up to a hundred and twenty
More verses to fuck with me, cause your worse than a pug would be
At not having wrinkles, you fot slabby pimple
Whoops that was a mistake I meant fat slobby feeble when
I put acid in ya steak until ya can’t talk the beef again
The way your style works is, the less natural the wording, the worse it reads. Because you're mostly just riffing and flipping rhymes, you can't afford to get caught up in confusing word choice. The "fot" thing really bothered me. And "E'd up" isn't an expression that I've ever heard. So those two things tripped me up, and I didn't get the "acid in ya steak" line,, and the "worse than a pug would be at not having wrinkles" didn't work because the line break left me confused.

But then you got flowing and smoothed your shit out and were were all good.
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