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Old 10-12-2013, 11:50 AM   #7
Mike Wrecka
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- Writing Challenge League I

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dope battle guys.


ydk - I was impressed with this verse. using the cards suits as references in your lines was a good concept. I enjoyed this piece. although I feel it was more of an overview type of topical. and tbh these verses when put up against a fleshed out story usually don't fare well with the voters. the mechanics and rhyming were sound. like I said I liked it.

frank- ok ya frank brought a story but then took it a step further and developed a back story to that story. it was entertaining and some of the lines were a very dope display of word usage like this

In conflict with the grimiest cons on the continent..."
consequence in each contest

do you see all the cons he used there and still made it flow and rhyme and make it coherent? that's dope. I liked that a lot. the rhyming and structure were ahead of ydks by a bit


overall - ydk you had a good verse, but you need to develop more in your verse. dig deeper into the story to get my vote in this particular battle. good showing though. frank you are like a young martin scorcese mixed with a bit of young Spielberg. thanks for the read guys

vote - francis
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