[Adonis]

Jdub - butter reading as always, my eyes slid through this read with out having to pause or correct a word for flows sake, which is not only rare, very rare, but a very difficult feat to accomplish. Looking at the painting, I have no clue how came to war, but the first stanza was serene up until the girls pain. I liked the ending, but in the most rare cases, you left me wanting more. I wish there were a short middle stanza going into depth either the pain and agony, or at then end, going into depth of the happiness or joy felt by being free. Either way, wanting more is good, because if I don't like a verse I can't wait to finish, in your case I didn't want it to end. Dope read though through and through. Solid imagery and emotion my man. Oh, also I enjoyed the loose rhyme very much. Some bars didn't have the traditional end rhymes, but had the inners to make me forget it and not care. Then the sprinkled Multies added nice depth as well.


MW - Another "easy on the eyes" to read verse, both you of per usual. when I first read, I would pause every bar or so and go look at the pic and see exactly what you were refrencing, I first thought a girl pointing up, nope. Then a daisy by a tree, nope. I thought you gave away the writers voice to easy, I like a little mystery brother, I honestly think you did your self a dis-favor by doing so, and I'll probably be the only one. Nice read though, just not so memorable. I think some rhymes came off simplistic, but you used more inners and multies near the end which still read smooth, I wish you did that through out.

v/ Just Write

To me, just write had the better flow, or at least the higher degree of difficulty because you both had smooth reads. Jdub also had more emotion as well as painted the picture better even if he went off and did his own thing quickly, which I don't mind, because he stayed on topic, just took the scenic route.