[Ghost1]

Alright this was I got so far so some directional points or whatever would be nice. To be honest I am only really happy with the first one at the moment, just playing with different ideas.

We charging for him to see Ill? cus he about to witness it
Only time your name is next to skill fo real is in this title bitch

its ok, but these type of lines have been done, and done and done, played. dont be afraid to reach man, fuck a comfort zone

im not usually one for gay jokes player
but he aint named after anger its an anagram of gayer

an anagram is a word that us comprised of the same letters in dif order? k, kinda complex, u might have lost sum on that, or sent them to google, not good. also theres no sting on this, by the time ur bar ends it should feel like u spit on his dead mothers corpse


im pickin up steel beams you cant even pick up yo bars
you ill? you couldnt spit sick even if you were riddled wit sars

nah, way too played, dont do a , im so sick or ull never be as sick as etc....that shits aincient, also sars ?? even that illness is dated...lol

You hot? easy to put rayging fire out fella
I extinguish the weak while i sit around and wait for better

is there a concept here? seems like a bland statement, concepts man always have a concept


Ill show you Rayge cus son yo concepts played
Everyone of them punches belongs in the closed battles thread where they were made

that aint really a diss tho, u got the right idea with this tho but his punches should be sum where awful, humiliating, putrid abysmal, worthless not just the closed battles thread, or call them old, they should be in a nursing home or sumthing etc, NEEDS MORE 'FUCK U'

After Bruce Waters an Camp Bell you still think you can blow up?
Bitch they didnt have a single punch an you were too pussy to show up

this isnt bad, maybe ur best attempt so far, still kinda simple

rayge you aint explosive, you a dud dude, understand?
you couldnt blow even if team orc all gave you a hand

set up seemed to have a concept then u just eased off on the punch? if ur concept is just blow/succeed/explosives thats not good enuff u gotta figure these nerds been writin these bars since the late 90's u gotta think outside the box homie


Seen some of your battles bitch - yo concepts overplayed
heard them more then psy's gangnam style, and the wanteds glad you came

idk this reference, this makes a point that u have to be careful to cater to ur audience, if u gonna do a reference make sure its a well known reference, cuz this went completely over me an i would just ignore this bar, im not one for googling




wasnt trying to be harsh hope its not interpreted that way but i just wanna give u an idea of how people are gonna view ur verses when u lay them

stay up

to be honest looking back only the first one seems any good[/QUOTE]