NYCSPITZ - Mechanically speaking, this was vicious. Certainly has all the trademark of an established vet. Wording was great, flow was smooth so there's not much to complain in that dept. The story was an interesting one. Set in either late 1800's to early 1900, it tells the story of forbidden love, i believe - observed by a tree. At one point, i thought this was a creative take on Adam and Eve/original sin using slavery as a backdrop to provide the obvious social commentary on race and the mix 'breeding' of it all but that's probably way off. What i noticed, something that really stood out to me was the gradual bond between Sam and the tree - akin to the children short "The Giving Tree". Similiar to The Giving Tree, this tree provide a place of solace for the character. At the story's conclusion, u can almost feel the pain of the tree as the scene closes with a quiet lonely picture (cleverly using leaves as a pun ha). i thought it was very well written with just the right amount of descriptive language and emotive writing to maximize the message of the piece. illness.
Vulgar - While ur opponent went for a more dramatic route, you took, what i can only describe as a parable route. To echo one voter's sentiment, i also felt this was a deviation from your usual super lyrical, allusions-laced commentary. But its not necessarily a bad thing. The plot here involves a character (Abe - probably some bible reference or something) who took his own life due to the strains of the world. While in the afterlife he met God, the Devil and his own doppelganger. After much quarrel, he was given a second chance at life. Unfortunately, the Devil won the tug-of-war and he decided to go Sandy Hook on the IRS, ending the story in a cliffhanger, ha. I'm not too clear on what is being communicated here. I'm not the type to get overly stuck on moral or ethic in a narrative but like what was the point of this story? in a nutshell its like - guy kill self. guy comes back. guy kills tormentor (in this case the IRS, i suppose). But like why?? You're the epitome of engima so i'm sure there's a reason behind the madness.
Vote - NYCSPITZ. I really didn't want to vote for him because i can't for the life of me figure out how his story connected with the topic but i felt it had a little more substance and purpose. Lyrically, both piece were on par, imo.
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