[Certain]

NYCSPITZ: I don't know that I so much underestimated you as didn't understand how good you were. Man, the writing on this story was absolutely brilliant. Your phrasing is as good as anyone's on this board, with an eye for detail and subtlety that's right up my alley. I really, really enjoyed reading this verse, reading the way you spun interesting words together with so much clarity and precision. The use of an evolving rhyme for the first half of the second stanza was top-notch, as it transitioned from "teemed on his skin" to "rear with his breath" without ever missing a beat or seeming awkward. But as much as I appreciated the writing, the story was a bit flawed. I loved the idea of writing from from the tree's perspective and thought you executed that aspect really, really well. But you didn't do much to explain the story of Sam's lynching, so it felt sort of out of nowhere and much less effective than it could have been with a few subtle context clues as to why Sam was so stressed and fearful. I also thought you missed the opportunity to describe what the tree felt as the instrument of death for its closest "friend." But those are not major points, unlike my last issue: The relation to the topic was pretty weak. My guess is you were focusing on Sam being a winner because he didn't back down from the racists, but in telling the story from the perspective of the tree, that aspect never was clear. Even if it had been, that's a pretty loose association on a very strong topic. This is a very, very good verse, though. There's no way around it. Your writing and mechanics are as sharp as anything I've read here.

Vulgar: My initial reaction was to think the very lucid storytelling on display here was a major change of pace for you. I suppose in some ways it was. But thematically it fits right in with most of what you write, with the religious prosthelytizing and government distrust. The biggest change of pace might be the stripping down of the rhyme scheme. Several lines were very long, and the internal structures were not as complex as you often run with. That makes sense and helped you tell the story more naturally. I didn't care much about the content because your themes never completely resonate with me, but your execution of this pretty simple story was very strong. My bigger issue is that three-quarters of the verse was spent in an irrelevant dream. Instead of creating the world Abe lives in and explaining his stressors, you spent all of your time focusing on the ramifications of a decision he didn't actually make. The writing reminded me of Eyedea, which is as big a compliment as I can pay a rap storyteller. But I wish more of Abe's life had been developed. Still, it was nice to see you break out of your abstractions and into a traditional storytelling mode. You handled yourself like the elite writer you are.

I don't often write more than the two verse breakdowns, but I'm still torn on what to do here. I liked NYCSPITZ's verse more, though I did have a couple minor qualms with it. But there's no question in my mind that Vulgar was attacking the topic, while NYCSPITZ's verse almost could have been an old verse he had been holding on to. Relation to the topic is very important to me because it's what sets a topical verse apart from an open mic verse. This clearly was the battle of the week, though.

Vote: Vulgar