Pancake, this had an awesome Dilated Peoples type feel to it, the words chosen for rhyming where pretty unorthodox but also spot on, not easy to do as much as you did, commendable
But then the switch up at the end I didn't really understand, it was like, scorned forlorn lover fuck this bitch letter style, then I dunno? Dude was actually schizo, strapped to a bed imagining the whole ordeal of writing the letter, or he tried to kill himself and the sight of nikole checking on him in the hospital made him happily painless, or was nikole his asylum nurse?
Regardless though, I don't get the winning part of it
Ra, like Vag said, this instantly put me in some 300 type shit, it was like reading a middle chapter of some alternate universe roman war goddess saga, I wanna hear this on an instrumental made entirely of sword clangs, horse hooves and death cries, seriously dude, top-notch word wizardry...
A real nice read overall, but it lacked a beginning and end, and much depth
With a more complete story and creative style...
VOTE - Pancake
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