very descriptive piece man, too bad it got no showed. mine did too, although you predicted I was gunna no show you faggot lol jkjk but for real this was a solid effort man
I'm wrong and admit; but I'm seasoned with bliss,
A walking dream so serene emitting Tantric secrets,
Time stands still... As the door swings agape,
Red heels shake earth, with every step she takes,
Never ending stockings, with the legs to match,
Haven't seen her face, but I know, she's an ageless catch,
A red dress slit, elegantly, for viewing pleasure,
Showing enough skin to be surprised, when she removes it later,
A pair of hips that are, doomed for labor,
Although I can't see her ass, I presume it's flavor,
super vivid righthere, puts a sorta scarlet johhanson thought in my head, chuckles at the last line too.
I'm prepared now, I'll willingly toss aside my past,
My wife was a catch, but I deserve the best this world can hash,
The kids grown, so it's not like I'll struggle financially,
No child support for adults, they're over the pampering,
I'm sure what we're doing's wrong, but when a connection's so strong,
You learn to let the soothing music simply string you along,
this has got to be my favorite part, flow, cadence.. simply effortless and the message is way more powerful than the 6 lines they're in. can't say it enough, this part really stood out to me
overall this was a very poetic piece. one of those pieces that, I don't know how to word this.. seems to just float and is full of light when you read it, ionno. dope stuff though, like I said before it's a shame it was no showed. stay in for next week though man. talented writer, peace
if you don't mind, I got no-showed too
http://www.netcees.co/showthread.php?t=22871