[Scripter]

This was very interesting, I liked how you built up through each part. You had a very nice elegant starting verse, this did a great job of setting the mood, and allowing you to build suspense gradually.

"Soft pillow creases between the cracked streets
The alley's sway inside the feathers whim
Safety amongst the vagrants and the thieves"

Here is my favorite part
It beings to build drama and changes the feeling of the piece, you did a great job at this.

"Between the dirt grains we find diamond feet
Along the borders of the outcast we fit slim
A coast of paradise belonging to dead streams
We beach ourselves along the shores axiom
We’ll cut ourselves finding sanity in the requiem
Bathing in filth cleansing in a truth soaked trend
We die daily and fight through the system
To no end"

Finally you begin to reveal the full picture. This really helped to build up your piece, excellent descriptions.

"Garbage filled roads, winds filled of trash heap
Cracked walls and a ruined window prism
The scorched landscapes where willows peeked"

I liked your final verse as well because it showed the willingness to keep going through the toughest of times.

"Generations here...families grow in inches
The little we have we will die to defend
We intend to make it good outside the system
Transcending past the end."

Overall I would say your piece is very well worded and your ability to set the mood is outstanding. Great piece!