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Old 09-30-2013, 02:55 AM   #16
patrown
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/v vulgar- some catchy rhymes grabbed my attention right off the bat... i really enjoyed how you worded this. but i do feel like i've missed something. really sick drop.
at times, i felt like i was overwhelmed.

only in the case of scientific dictatorships via hypodermic needles

^ like there. it's not that it's not good, i just got hung up there and here.

Blackflag bloodclots - the discoloration of your twisted biological melanin

here, i wasn't irked at all,

accosted flesh, the darker depths of the neck help in determining the cause of death

and idk why. but i just thought id throw that out there. i think your opener was amazing btw.

/v adonis - profound statements. really deep. enjoyed the poetic tone. there were moments i enjoyed immensely, and i didnt get caught up at any point. to put it simply, i liked where you went with the picture a little bit more.

but that was very hard to choose....
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