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Old 09-29-2013, 10:17 PM   #11
NYCSPITZ
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,031
Battle Record: 31-37


Champed
- Write Night II
- Alias Topical Tournament

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cool battle. Zen yours was nice, ending was vicious. The flow esp. at the beginning was nasty as fuck. Like somebody above mentioned I thought some of your word choices were suspect like ingot and a few others but overall i enjoyed the read a lot. Vulgar mentioned there could have been a more linear structure or pulse to the piece which I think would have bolstered it quite a bit. Rawn's was dope imo cool storyline and ended cool. I was just listening to an audio about "coincidental" occurences, synchronicity etc. so it resonated well with me. You painted the character well and overall I'd have to say I enjoyed your piece a bit more than Zen's this time around.

V/ rawn
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