Good rhyme scheme at the beginning. Stylistically it seems to be influenced by the user deadman/Black D. but you have done the format justice here. Perhaps the "leave bleeps" and "deter, quit" rhyme schemes were not as strong when compared to the other rhymes you employed. Also, the quatrain seems to work better than the x2 rhymes for this format, it kind of builds up momentum as you are reading it.
|