[Adonis]

BB - never did enjoy heavy layered rhymes with ion, seems a bit easy to me. I enjoyed the tail end of this verse. But honestly only the concept. I felt the entire verse was less then stellar as far execution. "Contestants, interesting, larva, bother" flow such as this just throws me off quite a bit. "The armour, gliterin shown" were two of the sentences that just read awkward to me. I realize this entire post will be viewed as 'dickish', not my intent. Purely trying to be honest bruhv.


Black- end of the world, where a parapalegic feeds on the insect. As I write that I'm thinking, sounds stupid, but you did a decent job. I disliked the flow, flow per say was ok with slant rhymes aplenty, but the breaks in lines split between two bars...I.e - " their alerts were reduced into flashing texts that told us where to search for recluse" is one sentence yet broke into a bar. I've always hated this as it throws my flow while reading completely off, never understood it, and I think its a easy way out of finding rhymes. Although you were at least consistent.

V/Black

To be blunt, I'm not a big fan of either verse, but Black's held more depth and detail imo, including some gore in the middle which I loved and wish you went a bit more into detail about.