Atheist - This had the beginnings of a traditional post-apocalyptic story going for it. I could sort of see where it was headed because both fiction & film have taken us down the end of the world avenue so many times (not to mention Lord Chyeah's forecasts of doom and gloom) so if you didn't do something snazzy in the form of a twist or a statement, this would probably have shaped up to be an 'ordinary' type of verse, in my opinion of what you wrote so far, that is.
patrown - Pretty nice verse p, I actually loved how you laced the flow. Tight knit, unpredictable style. Good instincts and strong end rhymes. I don't remember reading anything substantial from you but I like what I see.
Vote - patrown
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