I really liked this because the rhyme scheme is absurd and you conveyed a lot of emotion, but it was vague. I'd like to see you make something like this more directly (or even falsely) personal through real details. That's a complaint I offer often, though, so maybe it's just my thing and I need to get over it.
I liked this part the most:
Quote:
I’m not strong, I’m not tough, I’m not calm, I’m not what
She’d call love, I’m washed up, I’m all but
Forgotten by the ones who knew me then
The things she saw in me I think I lost on Lucy’s lips
We can’t love, marriage fails, it’s prophecy
It slams shut, we’re hand cuffed by fairytale philosophies
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