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Old 02-12-2013, 07:29 PM   #10
Mike Wrecka
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Join Date: Jan 2013
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- Writing Challenge League I

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cool battle

zen - . your opening bar was dope. you had the better rhyme scheme. an unexpected take on the topic. seemed like a stretch at first but in the end it lent itself well to the picture, and you delivered a strong verse about someone in the midst of the holocaust. i think it was a good idea. solid fundamentals displayed throughout

coup- you had some crazy ideas and verbiage mixed in. but i feel like you didn't really take the picture to its full potential. the verse was a little too simplistic for my liking. you showed that you have the skill to construct a more complex rhyme scheme. you just didn't do it. I would have liked to see more multis and inner rhymes.

overall good battle. props to both. enjoyable reads. but i got

vote = Zenland

takin this rather easily with the much better concept
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