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Zen · 09-25-2013, 10:37 AM

Once along this land that is now a prison
Outside of its dreams…trying to keep hopes wisdom
And no one here lie’s…we just play pretend
We make believe we are fine in the system
To no end
^^True shit here.

I liked this. You brought that poetic style that I like to see from you and performed it well for the most part. If I have one complaint it would be the a/b rhyme scheme of this. It fucked up reading it because I'm used to reading a/a, but as a poem this is beautiful and well done. Props @Innovator.

09-25-2013, 10:37 AM	#5
Zen Arm the Homeless Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,102 Battle Record: 22-24 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 35079722	Once along this land that is now a prison Outside of its dreams…trying to keep hopes wisdom And no one here lie’s…we just play pretend We make believe we are fine in the system To no end ^^True shit here. I liked this. You brought that poetic style that I like to see from you and performed it well for the most part. If I have one complaint it would be the a/b rhyme scheme of this. It fucked up reading it because I'm used to reading a/a, but as a poem this is beautiful and well done. Props @Innovator. Last edited by Zen; 09-25-2013 at 01:24 PM.