[PancakeBrah]

I'm drunk, listening to 'Strange Ways' by Madvillian. Great fucking song. Best on that album. So dope.

no good

Before I begin, please stop the half-hearted ellipsis (..). It detracts.

"Im a monster, a beast, a breathin demon..
Exhaling smoke from my lungs when i breathe the weed in..
A feigning heathen.. who mastered a craft so accurate..
Stayin true when y'all acted like i lacked the knack for it.."

Didn't enjoy the rhyme of the first bar. I actually liked the last line of this portion. The sentiment is ubiquitous but idk, I liked the wording. An argument for wording! GOOD FOR YOU! Do you know what feigning means? If you do, you're smarter than I thought, if not you...you need to work on that. I can't tell.

"So im back to rap a bit, but im lazy today
Dont judge me for my habits when im blazin a J"

Liked the first line, seemed honest. The second line didn't. The rhyme was weak.

"I try to write consistant, but my mind is a cloud..
So hope you didnt miss it, when i rhymed it out loud"

Depends on the perception of you. If this was Black or someone like that I'd probably like it. But I'm not sure you meant what you meant. It was solid to good.

"I try to stay perisitant, and I'll fake it at best
But my progression is a lesson, and i take it in jest..
The weight on my chest gets lighter, exhaling smoke from my nose..
I could go on and on wandering all the roads that ive chose"

I think it'd be interesting if you did. So far it's been slightly generic. Write something in kin with that last line and fucking mean it.

"But I'll drown my sorrows, jack n coke with a dose of lemon twist
Id write a rhyme, but rather crack a joke, smoke and reminisce"

I like lemon twist/reminisce. Like...a lot. Good rhyme. The 'lead up' rhymes actually detracted from it from me. You should've made that the only rhyme in this couplet and just content'd the fuck out. You dig?

"So this is it for me, I'll wear my heart on my sleeve,
Cause everytime I grab the pen, I swear ive started to breathe.. "

Done before, but solid.

You're a solid writer. I think you need to expand and introspect more to elevate.

Genocide

Master of technique!

I'm not going to give a line by line breakdown. Not because you don't deserve it; you do. I put you in that Black, Vulgar, dullboy/bwhahaha level. You have such a nailed in style that it's redundant to critique. Your rhymes in this are beyond crisp; mechanics are on point beyond most. Whenever I see a Geno drop I know EXACTLY what's coming. That's where my critique on your last drop comes in, in terms of writing something out of your comfort zone. What I mean is try to switch your scheme. Because you've dialed in YOUR content and message to the point that you have a definite imitable style. You have some of the cleanest verse in the forum. Expand, explore. Break off from your normal schemes, expand content. Explore ideas and fuck rhymes. Then come back to rhymes that much stronger. You're one of the elite. Try to improve even moreso.

Mike:

I could beat you. I'll edit in a srs feed tomorrow. On my word.