This was pretty good. As always, a lot of thoughts were left unfinished, but I like that in your style. The rhymes weren't as tight as usual, and some of the punctuation tripped me up. But there were a few really strong sections:
Quote:
obtuse in my tomb of thinking. while shooting a crescent lunar, perfect penchant, you’d think a lunatic would’ve welded it exclusively for you.
|
Quote:
blade along my face. i lather in the blood i taste. you were the only person ever brave enough to defrost this hyperborean fate.
|
Quote:
it's nothing, out of whim, i'd love to chat about how much you love me. i love you, and it's quick but will you marry me?
|
The stuff about the girl was better than the stuff not about the girl.