View Single Post
Old 09-14-2013, 05:04 PM   #4
StarFaggot
Leave you flatlined.
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 5,108
Battle Record: 12-9


Champed
- Site Diss 2013
- Tag Team Tournament III

Rep Power: 0
StarFaggot StarFaggot StarFaggot StarFaggot StarFaggot StarFaggot StarFaggot StarFaggot StarFaggot StarFaggot StarFaggot
Default

as they fall into order, they see the symmetry of vultures
streaks of Mars flit the sky releasing odors of sulfur
frozen as sculptures, confused they each hold to their culture
in hopes to ward off ghosts from this soulless sepulcher
the scavengers scatter suddenly in a smoldering rush
revealing a building underneath 'em, doors opening up and
soaking in rust, these 3 men - a Swede, Samoan and Russian
all walk into the bar...during Dystopian Dusk

Fire intro.. love the alliteration in scavengers line


brittle, pale, skinny, frail...like he never ate a vegetable once
lol



such a puzzling picture, but still awfully clear
stunned silence - he gets them vodka, vodka and beer

This was a different piece. I don't know where you all get these ideas from but I love the creativity. I had to read this twice to fully get the concept.. Nice read. The rhyming was good, nothing really forced as far as rhyme wise.. I still don't understand it all or whats the epiphany but I'm sure if I really read into it I would get it..
StarFaggot is offline   Reply With Quote