Split Eight's lines that contain odes to his city always stand out, you seem very passionate in a restrained sort of style writing about city-stuff. Actually, only disliked the middle part with the Homo Too Sapiens and Salaam Alaykum parts etc seemed like trying to be too witty, when the most effective parts were the begging with the city-scape and car descriptions and the ending with the voice-mail part.
Certain it seemed like a strong exercises in similar vowel-words. The first section emphasize the O like in the word hOp. It was very entertaining to read the different variations presented alongside the popculture and playful language. E.g., " into my obviously absorbent polycotton T-shirt." - it was very humorous in a strange kind of way. The battleship line also made me laugh.
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