Thread: I <3 schemes
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Old 09-06-2013, 08:38 PM   #19
Certain
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I've never been in love. I've been in lust and in like and in well-since-we're-both-here and even in obsessed (once, and I try not to talk about it too much). But I've never been in love, and I think that probably is why I'm so bitter and angsty all the time or something. But maybe if I had my heart broken I'd be even more bitter and angsty. Or maybe I'd be sullen. I'm not sullen.

There were a lot of things I liked about this very short post. I don't think it was special, necessarily, but it was really cool. I got a little hung up on the use of the adverbial form in the first couple lines. Then I started to think maybe it was intentionally, but I think it probably was just to rhyme, really, because we all do that sometimes and I'm too neurotic about things.

Urbandictionary.com says "beautimous" is a portmanteau of beautiful and fabulous. Well, it doesn't say the word "portmanteau" because it's urbandictionary.com, and it's for the people. But that's what it means. Still, I'm not sure where the "M" comes from in that word.

The best part was, "No one's shown up wearing the moonlight so beautifully." That reminded me of the coda of this song (which starts at 3:03):



I don't think that was an intentional allusion. But the flippant word choice and abundance of adjectives late in the verse kind of lulled me. Your verbs let up and simplicity took over, even amid a great rhyme scheme.

Maybe when I'm in love I'll come back and decide this is the greatest thing ever, though.

Last edited by Certain; 09-07-2013 at 01:46 AM.
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