Thread: I <3 schemes
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Old 09-06-2013, 06:12 PM   #11
Inno
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Gimme a sec

Will edit here

Edit.

Ok so this starts off really dopd with some pretty smooth imagery great start to thw piece tbh. Though you say its love about some of your word choices seemed off..orr didnt fit with that tone the subject love produces. Words like aint, cause, and the last couple lines seemd a bit lazy. I would like to have seen morw lines like the wearing the moon and the one that follows that actually...those lines had depth and a profound sense to them that I enjoyed..and yes the flow was on point.

Nothing bad about this read I enjoyed it. Aside from what I pointed out this was cool . and tbh what I mentioned u cab chalk it up to personal preference...keep posting

Last edited by Inno; 09-06-2013 at 06:24 PM.
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