[Matriarch]

Originally Posted by PancakeBrah

Great.

It's good to see you back. I have a healthy distrust of any 'female' writing on this site, seems to easy to troll. But even if it is a troll, you write so well with such an acumen for the fairer sex's type of thought that I don't mind it. Whenever I read a verse of yours my immediate thought is Black/dead man. Very similar styles. There are little variations, but mostly the same. You incorporate this little '~' idea here, which I haven't seen you do before. To be completely honest I wasn't a fan. Your strength as a writer is content, with punctuation as a thought being a close second. And this ~ idea seemed too cute for me. I understand the use of it, and how you utilized it in your verse, and maybe I'm just uneasy with change. A few more verses of this quality executing it and I could see myself switching my tone. This is weird, but I almost wish you were just another dude. Because in praising your verse and writing style so much it could be seen as white knighting a girl writing Open Mics. But you truly do write in a style that I enjoy thoroughly, more than almost every other writer here. There were lines in this piece, a short one at that, that were flat out innovative and worthy of note.

"fisticuffs against the winter months breathing affair
seeking butterscotch scent. a lock of her hair..
recall that posthumous caustic touch. Silent despair."

I try to write something as good as the bold part in every verse I write and usually fail. That quoted section is pitch perfect, but the bold part resonated.

"my time’s contingent on constituency"

I great example of vocabulary that isn't superfluous. Great line.

I think towards the end you became too infatuated with the stop/pause of the period and the subsequent 'Look at this free association'. But it was still solid. Everything leading up to that was great.

Look forward to more.

<3

I will hit up your piece later today, Cakey ^__^