[Fig]

As Genocide expressed this sounds pretty sincere in its morbidity, which makes me timid to feed it. Maybe that's just good writing on your part. I feel like your diction gets mistaken as being simplistic, I think it's more concise than anything. Those first 4 lines were a great set up for the dark tone of the piece, but honestly I feel like the second half lost focus. I liked soiree /sorry bit, that was nice, but the pick up and this uh rhyme wasn't doing it for me. Seemed lazy tbh. This does feel like it would translate well to audio though... hmmm

anyways yeah, dark piece here. Very emotionally packed. Thanks for the read.