I liked the work behind keeping it in the same rhyme scheme when it isn't nonsense just to rhyme. shows a lil more effort and time and can be done very well. I think you did good. some of the flow was off. but good story. had begininig middle end. problem, plot and climax. Antagonist and the protagonist that your forced to relate with.
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Look up to the sky to try n find god in the clouds
Hopin when he looks down I dont get lost in the crowd
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