Veritas, interesting idea to display here. I liked the idea, but your details lacked on telling the story I think. there's nut much character development. but I can understand that fire the element pod suspense. I think this needed more details of the place with the illuminati. that's s pretty huge concept to not expand on. the format you used ess weird. but once I got passed that. the flow and story went smoother, but still lacking in details. I did like the ending tho... great idea.. I like your use of the topic
Word, your verse was okay. but pretty typical idea. it's a very common idea so it would be difficult to get creative with an idea that isn't creative. the good point of it is that we all relate to what you're saying because I definitely feel where you're coming from with the government ruling poverty it's people. just needed more originality I think with more wit or s more personal take on the topic add our personally relates to you, your life or someone you know.
vote veritas
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