My mother is a reverend, and I am a staunch apatheist. We have a lot of long-winded debates about the merits of religion, made tolerable because she has very liberal interpretations of things. The sticking point for me, as is traditional for apatheists (perhaps more commonly called pragmatic agnostics, if you've never heard the term), is that God's existence is irrelevant to human life. My view is simple: If there is a being powerful enough to have created everything including me, that being already is fully aware of what will happen to everything. It's not so much predestination as it is the caveat of unlimited knowledge. If God is all-knowing and all-powerful, then he knows what your decisions will be ahead of time. In that case, how can anyone claim free will? And if God isn't all-knowing and all-powerful, then how did he pull this creation stuff off? Is a god without full knowledge and power really justifiable in calling God?
So the subject matter of these verses, particularly when put together in the same space, really appealed ot me. I thought dead_man's verse was one of the strongest in the league this week, but adding in zygote's half made it even better. dead_man obviously is a master of intellectual dissertations set to ridiculous rhyme schemes. I appreciate that this wasn't over-saturated with references but also still felt very intellectual. I started to block off a section to quote, and it ended up being more than half the verse:
Quote:
it's the sinewy flesh of jurisdiction. where intention awaits
penitentiary plates. licenses to kill for escape
but it's a question of control. it's a question of fate
it's a timeframe. designed behind an intellectual state
be pensive, be great. plead puppet when it isn't insane
if you're the product of potential isn't the signal to blame?
we've justified for centuries, the symbols unchanged
placing D'jango in chains. Schindler in cylindrical flames
our only god is Judge. gavels lifted, prisoner slain
yet only God adjusts his gravel pits to filter the rain.
if you're an innocent slave to pre-determinant binds
should you be tried for committing a subservient crime?
or were you MEANT for sacrifice to birth a design
complete a double-helix just by serving your time
plead puppet-master. ignorance is blissful retreat
for the cellular potential of a digital leech.
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Well, I loved all that. There wasn't a weak line in that entire patch. I didn't like "sight is a sensitive sense," which immediately preceded that quote, but whatever. This verse was excellent.
Then zygote came in and counterpunched with the mirror style that Split Eight just brought up in his magazine. There are very slight differences in your dead_man mirror style to dead_man's actual style, but they're only at all noticeable because the verses are in such close proximity and labeled. I would say dead_man uses non-rhyming soundscapes better, and zygote's word choice is a bit tighter and less forced.
I liked that zygote didn't approach showcase some sort of ignorance or naïveté, which would have been the easier counterpoint. Instead, you tried to justify the opposing view through the lens of dead_man's cynicism. My mom can't do that, so I always win our battles. Anyway, given the scenario in which you wrote this verse, it was very impressive. Here was my favorite part:
Quote:
sanskrit-like genes etched as metaphysical records
every spiritual message is a by-product of chemical signal receptors
but the mind is a non-physical substance
self-awareness and something else that sits just above this
subjective to some, but to others it’s justice
simple perspectives within a hypocritical judgement
scrap philosophers, discard formalized thought
new questions are found more than they’re sought.
Whether as a saving grace or as an awkward recourse
for 30 pieces of lead it still martyred the cause
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I think you two may be the most polished writers this site has to offer, with all respect to Vulgar, oats and a few others. I'd love to see an intentional, planned collaboration.