[Adonis]

CS - I like flow and "bullet hole but I'm empty"line was witty. Character build up was a bit lackluster to say the leaset, no wrong just probably worlds weirdest opener ever. Some shock value which if done right is dope, but I would have enjoyed some more gruesome visuals brother. I feel like you went story instead of story and explaining in detail the sins. I think even a short opening stanza explaining scene of the country you were in would have tied stuff together. Also pertaining to my verse. Had every intention to include all or mose names, but you struck the nail on the head about free writing. Shit started coming out and I just let it instead of structing it.


Inno - looks like training youth for evil ala african soldiers? Nice little story, some wording issues that are simple corrections but easy to make if english isn't native. But aside from that the verse was decent, did have as much depth to the concetps and was a bit face value. Also the rhymes seemed pretty obvious, maybe not always using the first end rhyme that pops in your head or adding some inner rhymes opposed to 5 end rhymes in 2 bars.

V/CS for a more thought provoking and precise verse