Story teller, your verse was very dramatic in its progression and had some interesting details that were creepy. the wording had some nice choice rhyme schemes, but I don't think the character development was appealing. the way you did it in the 3rd person with the father being the narrator and also a predator and raping his daughter when that really was built in the story structure or the way the character was developed. it made it to hard to get into with such a radical change with the ending. I started getting into it, but the character development didn't help.
Brian, this was a very witty comparison of an old classic and a modern giant. that party alone was great because you actually narrated with a similar style to the old chillen song. your flow was exceptional as well and that made the read so smooth that the details were the only additional part to enjoy and the were great too. you also used the topic cleverly with McDonald not distinguishing between all poultry so he's get cut out... I liked all of this... great verse and narration and development through the topic.
vote Bryan
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