[Certain]

So, when I noticed the font was Arial like DeathLion's on his two old verses, I wondered whether this was an old verse or something. I looked it up, and sure enough this is two years old from RapBattles. I don't really know what you expect to get from feedback on a two-year-old verse. Anyway, I'll give you a little bit of feed with that perspective in mind.

This verse wouldn't have worked without the closing line, which wasn't rhymed. That's not good. I've already told you that being more direct could be a big boon for you, and this verse illustrates why. With the final line snapped into place, your word choices do make more sense and the story improves. But I read these verses closer than probably just about anyone on these boards, and I didn't realize this was about abortion until that final line, which again, wasn't rapped. There's a value in being subtle, but storytelling generally works better when you tell the story.