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Old 08-15-2013, 11:56 PM   #7
Pinot Grij
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 863
Battle Record: 23-19

Accomplishments
- OM HOF

Champed
- Fight Night 2
- Write Week V
- Netcees Battle League (2x)
- Winter Topical II
- 1-2 Punch league

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Wow, insane match-up right here. Both verses entertaining and on some next elvel shit. Kudos to both.

Pancake... I've said it before, but I dig your ability to use subtle touches to inject so much interiority into your character. The Aspergers angle was, I mean, genius. And the ability to carry it out throughout and tie back in things like Captain Kirk and the mohagany/oak thing really made it believable. Here you have this feeble-minded narrator, and when you unleashed the actual killing scene it made it that much more haunting. You have a sick knack to get inside characters' heads and you pulled it off again. Brilliant drop.

Objective, like BB said, you went the fuck in this week.

Quote:
He was so mesmerized and stunned at her beauty he left her there guessin',
what could'a been a nice opening line turned to a creepy impression.
liked this line, says so much about the interaction without needing to use dialogue. Nicely done. I was really hooked up your story from the mind of your character... how he schemed to do good, but ended up on the wrong end of the stick. I was stuck a little on why the guy admitted to the murder... it didn't seem that realistic to me.

Overall, I just think Pancake had a deeper concept, structure and more complexity.. there was a lot of moving pieces in his drop and they worked together seamlessly. Objective had a dope, solid drop, but Cake had those few extra layers to swing it in his favor.

Vote for Pancake
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Last edited by Pinot Grij; 08-16-2013 at 12:41 AM.
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