[Split]

really liked this over all. like how you broke up your rhyming, it was refreshingly simple. sometimes it felt like you were rhyming with the same emphasis in every line though. good wording mostly. liked the opening the most. good rhyming scheme.


the plot was pretty good, didnt relate to your character too much but i was interested ni the action more than most action topicals, and your conclusion was pretty cool. keep writing dude.