Storyteller: This was OK. In concept, it was pretty strong, turning fake thuggery into, well, fake thuggery. I liked that you used the interplay with the verse to show the contrast. But there wasn't enough to your actual verse. I mean, 10 lines simply isn't enough to flesh out a full character.
patrown: I feel like your verse had a rather strong disconnect from the challenge verse. It didn't work really at all together beyond the title, and even that you flipped. Still, you could have overcome that with a strong verse. Instead, it felt sort of fragmented. Your writing talent was clear on a few your lines, but the piece never gained any momentum because of its brevity. I thought you had an interesting concept, the recovery of an addict, but then didn't really go anywhere with it.
Vote: Storyteller
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