Tough call.
patrown seemed pushed for time this week with the short drop, he's capable of so much more, keeping this so compact hurt him in the fact he didn't really give the opportunity to lengthen out the piece and expand upon the concept. he only touched on it with odd lines, more so towards the last 4 or 6 in this piece, but I felt he could have expanded on that and furnished it further. The opener was a really good couplet, I liked the contrast, always been a fan of that, the guy is very capable I just feel like he let himself down this week by keeping it so abrupt. It feels incomplete almost which is a shame because i enjoyed where he was going with it.
Storyteller had the more fleshed out piece, the lyrics from the original drop being used almost to portray the lyrics of his main character and the thugged out lifestyle he wasn't leading, was a good choice, complete twist on the original effort and I liked that he attempted something so creative - turning the original upside down and going a different angle with it. It was an innovative touch and you played to it well, built up the character nicely, and while i'm usually a fan of the anti-hero almost in pieces - It's good to see one with a happy ending occasionally rather than the mundane inevitable death or suicide of someone that most Open Mic pieces have these days haha!
All in all, I expected more from patrown, I think the original wasn't the greatest thread to give two guys to 'collab' with in fairness to them both, and both struggled. patrown kept his supershort which hurt him IMHO, Storyteller attempted something different, thought outside the box, used what he could to utilise building some story around it and for that I must give him my kudos, and the win this week. Keep those pens moving!
Vote - Storyteller
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