[Certain]

PancakeBrah: I am a sucker for the fine details in storytelling. You completely captured this man's essence with this verse. At first I was going to say it was a straight character sketch, but it follows the storytelling requirement because you embedded that character sketch in a description of the man's day. The details made him extremely vivid, largely because they were both specific and unique. These weren't beatnick clichés, which would have been so easy to lapse into. Your rhymes and flow were strong all the way through, but that felt secondary. I was expecting you to write the man to his death at the end of the verse, but was pleasantly surprised you avoid that. The lack of action might cost you a reader or two, but you created something genuine.

Pryde: Well, I guess there was a story in the middle of all the swagger. But mostly this verse was swagger, and in a round specifically tailored to storytelling, that's not a good look. It doesn't help that the verse was sloppy and weak. The flow bounced around a lot, and there weren't many standout lines. I guess I saw what you did with the line with all the "check" uses, but it wasn't particularly clever. Stories require some patience, and it's fine that you seemed to have written this quickly, but you were facing a great story.

Vote: PancakeBrah