I didn't really think the verses went together. Shogun Dinero's verse was about searching for something meaningful. It didn't always connect, but there were a few good thoughts in it. Your wording definitely needs to be tightened up a bit to make your wordplay more effective.
Rawn M.D.'s verse was swag and flow, and it was good at that. Is this the second verse of yours I've read with a mention of Chilean sea bass? The spring break line was good.
Both of you write like you're battling, with the short setup carrying all the weight for the flow before a longer punchline that often wasn't a punchline at all.
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I'm just swinging swords strictly based on keyboards, unbalanced like elephants and ants on seesaws.
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