[PancakeBrah]

OH FUCK, YOU GUYS.

V/ OATS.

WILL YOU STILL READ MY VOTE EVEN THOUGH YOU ALREADY KNOW WHO WON MY POST & HEART? PLEASE?

lol man I'm so crazy oh dear haha.

Affectations are fun.

Mister Jay-

Wowee zowee-Pavement. Good album.

You are very underrated. Something about your personality and description in the zeitgest of nessy's (netcees) is holding you back. I've seen you post before, you seem to engage wrongly. Anyways, your lack of rep belies your talent, bitch! haha bitch. Great word.

"continue the babbling to that attractive mannequin hat rack again
I digress..."

Oooh, wow. There is the list of dope writers, and this sentence should be your top line of the resume. Poor grammar, there. Anyway, this was srs great. It's rare that I don't quote a complete couplet/rhyme, but you write very human, which I love. Everything isn't concluded at rhymes, the nuggets are found in truly reading your piece. The first complete rhyme is fucking bonkers good, which someone might say is exaggeration. And to them I say fuck you you plebian fuck ass. This is real writing. The 'I digress' only compliments! IT ONLY COMPLIMENTS A GREAT IDEA! THAT MAKES THE IDEA SUPER GREAT! I'm drunk, but I mean that.

"the further we press"

people might think I'm being an asshole, but this is good wording. read the line prior and the continued line of that quote. It's good wording. FUCK YOU, OATS AND MR.J, THE ONLY PEOPLE READING THIS VOTE. BELIEVE ME, THIS IS WORDING. FAGGOTS.

"I just need a second..is there someone to call for this emergency
the nerve of me.. thinking I was the sly one slipping through perfectly"

Your best "complete bar". Emergency is obviously over-exaggerated for effect. This over-exaggeration calls into effect your realization of how dry life is. Being normal sucks, and an over-exaggeration such as this is every day now. I read it on Twitter every few hours at work. But when I reference your piece I know you meant it in a very meta-meta-meta way, you absolutely know what you're doing when you say that, you sly fuck. Wait, you said sly in this piece. I'm a biter. Second bar is GR-E0A-T! I wish you hadn't worded your "TWIST" (omigod, topic twist !!!!TSAF!!!) so mundanely (mundanely is a word, spellcheck!? you whore). This is "mint" provocation (i stole that from a feed by black to one of my pieces. I have a writers crush on black. Not on the same level as zomboyddullwhahaboyoda, though). what am I talking about? oh yeah, that second line. GREAT. I mean it. My ramblings might be seen as pedantic condenscension, but it's not not. Let's really break this down; it's simple and perfect. We've all been there. That EXACT moment when you think you're on the upper hand mental plane, but then something foul and beneath you pervades and fucking WINS. I love your writing, Mr.k.

"and as the steps came closer, my heartbeat got faster, head started sweatin'
and as the knocks on the door stirred my mind back into realities setting...
I could not believe that for the rest of this evening...
my girl has got me eating with vegans"

Faggot. I do this, though. You wrote a great piece of nessy writing. Srs. I love (loved! your verse previous to this. Very meta. Everything is meta. You're meta. Anyways, this was corny. I hated it. I almost wished you never even incorporated vegan into your verse, and I wouldn't have hate voted against it. Because what are we doing here? We're just dick measuring our pen stick. I loved your pen stick before this, Mr. K. But once I knew you'd employ the topic, which I knew was from the jump (LOL GRAMMAR), I hope you'd stick this landing. But you didn't, IN MY EYES. You could have gone so many directions. Fuck Oats. Write 64 lines, set it with that dinner scene and explore. You'll find vegan more naturally somewhere. Fuck.

I liked your verse until it related to the topic, basically. You can fucking write, though. Don't take my meaningless internet vote of uselessness as an aspersion.

OATINGTON;

your opener was solid. I've used the opening before. Not word for word, obviously, but the idea for the opening. The indirect bullshit to give the piece character, before getting into it really. People eat that shit up, m i rite? I do. It's good for a reason. (I hope you're so insulted)

"no eyeshadow, foundation - no make up masks her depiction
she wears the voice of Jeffrey Sachs and sees with Atticus vision"

Jackhammer. Very fiancee. I wanted to say fancy there but didn't want to be unoriginal. Unoriginal is for fagg-0ts, m i rite, frat friends!? *chugs beer* *rapes girl who deserves its* ANYWAYS. fuck. ok, oats, dope line. Remember where you are, Cake. This was great. Srs. My entire joking paragraph is just a tool to replace the fact I run out of superlatives sometimes. There's only so many times you can say 'dope rhyme + content' while taking in the personality of the writer. You're very different than some of the writers I've wrote extensive feed on while saying the same thing, but I'm fucked right now. Can you please accept dope rhyme + content? thanks, fagg0t.

" “some little girl”
“this is a man’s job, honey, look pretty, dip and twirl”

The rhyme that connect and the content in it little girl is very good. I just like reading this section in the way I quoted it.

"misogynistic hurls"

v/ oats. i'm exaggerating. but this was indeed a tipping point. I should quote the whole line leading to it! But I won't. Because this is the exact moment I become aroused. Those two words.

"she moved forward alone
her eyes wore overtime like crosswalks while others ordered Patron "

so many feels. so. many. feels. Very good english words, you english teacher. Want to have a write-off? I could be a better english teacher if I gave a living fuck about life. Promise. srs.

"strong and composed when panic hit"

I don't have to tell you that this is the worst part of your piece. Pedestrian. You already know it. We all hit those moments when we hit a stroke of decent to good writing, hit a lull, but fuck you lull. Then power through.

"an equal feat, she exceeds the limits she bargained for-
her drive acknowledged, private office to separate from the carnivores"

check my 'hey, guys' topic for my reaction to this. I AM VERY SELF CENTERED.

"she did everything the right way, rose to her feet when
in this dog-eat-dog world, she chose to be vegan"

fatality.




RECONCILITION

do you think im rep voting mr. k? im not. i spent less time on oats verse because i lovered it. made it my bitch. made it suck my dick. i liked your verse on a bunch of levels. but i did not like your ending, and your ending made me not like the tonality of your verse. you can write the fuck out of words. i like you. aim me, asl. oats, good job. im tired of praising you. i dont think i have much, though.


best battle o' da week!