j-
Quote:
Trapped in delirious outcome, bound to a chair and harassed
bad jokes are uttered and I'm expected to laugh, I have...
to use the restroom dear entertainer, no need to explain sir
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really liked how this opening setup the piece...loved the line two end rhyme and how it paced right into the third...odd, I liked it though.
liked your piece...somehow the character/whomever in this pecie felt that vegans are contagious and some sort of aleing being...at least to yourself. I can agree, hipster douche bags are attracted to that life style and it's an important connection to say how your girl friend brought you into this situation, making the unpleasant night that much more unbearable...you did a fine job with this...I had the dinner night on the Titanic image while reading...Jack sitting there out of his league but holding his own.
oats -
damn your character/whomever could easily have been sitting across at mr.J's table haha, did you invite him ? A strange thing how these two verses are almost the same coin, in the same story driven vein. good stuff.
Quote:
took bigger risks and then ran with it
never mind an old friend was an analyst
she knew better - she knew she was talented
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like that line...you define your content well and you established a frame work to make a reasonable consultation as to why she became vegan...this hit on social, political and even ethical grounds....subtle but there.
yours was smooth and your concepts were clear and focused and moved right along....
this is damn, damn close....
V/ oat