[Gazette]

- [QUOTE=Rawn M.D.;109603]Firstly I re read it

secondly I never personally said u words were off I said ur rhyming words were to imperfect (fanny/alley) and some of that gave it a sing song feel to me, and then i commented on ur scheming bc sometimes u go a, b, a (with the b rhyming with an internal b) and others u just a, a, a it


ok fair enough, I'm British, the rhymes works perfectly in my accent but I can see how you wouldn't read it like that

and all I got from the egg line was cold eggs/overcooked eggs as a reference to y ur mad and going to do whatever nasty sht ahead as a foreshadow and

no dude, did you not notice how i said in the early bar that i'll fuck her up if my eggs were cold ... then a few bars down i was describing Franks usual day, which consisted of Overcooked eggs? As in, she's usually so scared of the eggs being cold, she overcompensates? C'mon, irony, like i was sayin, I never see anyone re-reference concepts like that but it seems to have gone unnoticed anyway

and sometimes dumbing things Down dumbs down the peice (but I think u were going more to give it characters personality,) personally only time I see a dumb down as beneficial is with a complex concept or emotion or for character personality and designation

no, nothing was dumbed down, just contextualized, i used colloquial language because i was speaking in the first person of the characters ... that aint being simple, thats thinking how a common personality would speak, itd be fuckin strange if i broke out the metaphors and vocab while assuming the tongue of a small-town, wine-guzzling rapist yh?

Anyway, yeah, i think im askin too much. I know i had the better bars tho