The rhyming obviously is outstanding, and a lot of the lines stand out. But the lack of concrete details does open you up to criticism such as that of Split Eight and PancakeBrah. You dance around the real emotions of the piece in a way that feels scientifically removed. It's a prime example of telling rather than showing.
Your talent is immense, but your touch could use some work if it's going to match it.
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I'm just swinging swords strictly based on keyboards, unbalanced like elephants and ants on seesaws.
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