[PancakeBrah]

This was good. Okay and good. The writing was maddening at times. For instance,

"I'm not saying the world's evil but most of the people...
Have been at war with themselves and don't know HOW to be peaceful"

When I first read the piece and come to that first line, I thought 'damn'. But it's just continued in the second line with a thought that's so generic and generically worded. If you had just wrote "I'm not saying the world's evil but most of the people..." then started the next line as a new thought...that's power. Great use of an ellipsis and a nice thought to compliment it. Maddening.

"I was baptized a Christian under water (and rum too)
I learned to beat my inner demons without help (from sun tzu)"

I'm a sucker for parenthetical phrases and this got me. They work as inner thoughts and a way to set up rhymes in a non-standard way. Enjoyed this immensely.

"ignoring all the negatives till I blamed myself for negligence."

Dope. Usually when you do lines like this I don't enjoy them but this was perfect. A moment of self-awareness imaged as a line in an open mic. Great.

"You will never see who I see in you,"

I swear I've read this a thousand times, but maybe a word is different here or there. Whatever it is, this line struck me the most out of the entire piece. Heartfelt and real. One of my favorite stand alone lines I've read this month. Like I said, I know it's been done before, but something made it work. Maybe the subconscious connection from the piece both before and after it, maybe just the wording, maybe that you meant it. Who knows. But congrats.

Sadly "split yourself in two" falls into the maddening part of my critique. I know it falls in line with your next line thereafter (mentally/physically) but I still don't like it. I'm going to chose to strike against you and read the "see in you" line as a stand-alone thought without the clarification of the next two lines. Simply because I enjoyed it that much and don't want to sully it.

"You can't ignore.
For I have climbed the mountain of insanity,
And became better than before."

The best section of the piece. 'For' was good. The thought was nice. I read this and nodded my head. You're doing you.

"Because the view is greater from the top."

Good ending.

Enjoyed this much more than 'prism full of bitches'. There were definitely some downfalls and portions I would personally rework but also moments I'm jealous of as a writer.

Keep it up.